Sippin’ Cinema Series: Under Paris – New Netflix Shark Thriller

I am always down to watch a new attempt at a shark attack movie, and one being set in Paris and the Siene sounds gnarly no matter how unrealistic it is. At first I was trying to take it too serious, with the awful opening scene of the main character Sophia getting dragged DEEP at a fast as fuck speed by the mako with no diving gear and getting to the surface quickly after with no issues making no sense. Surely some pressure or reaction would have almost killed her before being able to swim back to the surface with how deep they went. But as the movie carried on I realized I was being way too high in expectations in this film. We figure out that this mako shark isn’t a mako, it’s a new species that can adapt between fresh and salt water (not unusual since bull sharks can too), and also is able to reproduce through Parthenogenesis, where they don’t need a mate to get pregnant. So the shark just goes to the catacombs under the city and is breeding tons of sharks rapidly.

This movie was enjoyable for me but it was too over the top for me really to say I liked it overall. I’ve never seen more civilians idiotically stumble into water in my life in a movie. The attacks were at least cool and the gore effects were really nice, but it’s easy for the sharks when people are just falling in like they slipped on a banana in a cartoon. The activist group led by Mika was really fucking annoying. Just completely disregard for the fact tons of people will get killed because of her shutting off the tracker or trying to get in the water and be all sweet with what she said is a harmless shark. Dumbass got what was coming to her when she got ripped in two. Was very happy to see her get fucked up by Lilith. What an awesome name too for a shark in a random foreign shark film too. Lilith. It’s so unusual that it works.

The main police officer Adil and the shark attacks were my high points. They made this movie enjoyable and I won’t be rewatching but at least there were those two redeeming qualities. Also, the ending was so over the top I loved it. The fact the old shells in the river just started exploding and flooded all of Paris and the sharks took it over was fantastic. No need to have them overcome the shark like so many movies do. This shark is going to take over all of the damn country of France at the rate it reproduces and I’m here for it. Fuck it give me a part two where they live in a sunken underwater Paris where the sharks run everything. This is a fun movie just to toss on but way too over the top to take serious as a movie that you can even see as being above average because of all the ridiculousness throughout and stupid choices characters make throughout.

2/5 Stars ⭐️⭐️

– C. A. ROETHLE

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